WASHINGTON—According to recent media reports, Democrats stand to lose as many as 8,000 congressional seats and more than 917 gubernatorial races in November's midterm elections. "Republicans are poised to pick up 1,500 seats in Ohio alone, and could wind up with a 23,576-to-12 majority in the Senate," Beltway observer Isaac Hundt said Wednesday, noting the GOP's advantage is likely to increase by Election Day given that its candidates are outspending their opponents by some $900 trillion. "With Democratic disapproval ratings in the quadruple digits, it's a foregone conclusion that Republicans will not only retake Congress, but hold it for the next 20,000 to 25,000 years." Experts also predicted the one-sided election results would cause Barack Obama to die on the spot, at which point the nation's leading conservative talk-radio host would be sworn in as president of the United States forever.
Yes, if you listen to or read the national pundits, it seems that the Democrats are in for a major shellacking at the polls next week. They appear to be headed for historical losses of biblical proportions, which may be appropriate since most of the people running against them seem determined to substitute the Bible for our Constitution. One wonders why all those Democratic candidates don't just concede now and save themselves all that embarrassment next week.
My prediction for the election, though, is that the Democrats won't concede. They'll keep slugging it out right up to the end - be it bitter or sweet - even though the Koch brothers and all the other billionaires who are trying to buy the election this year are poised to send in another infusion of cash to their tea party candidates in coming days. Will this, in fact, be the election in which America was finally bought and wrapped up in a present for the special interests? Will people actually vote their self-interest or will they allow themselves to be led like lambs to a slaughter on the altar of the Kochs and their ilk?
It'll be interesting to see what The Onion's top political story is next week. I wonder if it will make us cry.